Stories (June 2011)

Here I am again…still loving my little blog and loving all you dear readers and falling in love with my darling. I have to say it still fills me with amazement that the Lord gave us such a beautiful little boy.

When we began reading about adoption we heard from books and social workers and many others that people will say rude things about us and our baby and learning to deal with those rude things is a part of the living in the wide world of adoption.

I suppose it’s still coming – I mean, everyone is thoughtless about things that haven’t directly affected them, right? But I have been amazed that we really have not experienced anything hurtful. I can see strangers looking at Judah and then at me and then back again. But when they do say something it’s simply kind curiosity. “Where did he come from?” “What a beautiful baby!”

When Judah gets older things will get more complicated. I can’t imagine it will be fun or helpful for him to be constantly reminded by strangers that he doesn’t look like us. But that’s for a later time. For now I am encouraged that adoption is so popular and prevalent that no one is shocked or put off – only supportive and pleased for us.

And people’s interest reminds me constantly that we have this little person – this son – woven into the fabric of our lives and nothing will ever be the same. He is the result of the faithful, persevering love of a kind Father and he is for me hope in pain and light in darkness.

Of course no one who quickly glances at us in the grocery store knows that. All they see is a white mom and black baby and they wonder what the story is. I have no idea what kind of assumptions they’re making and I have no way of finding out. And I can’t imagine they would want me to interrupt them in the aisle of Target to explain my whole life. Nor would I want to – there’s something fun about the mystery.

It’s amazing to me that God knows every life that has ever been lived, not just in broad outline but every intimate and colorful detail. Not only knows, but writes it with loving, compassionate purpose. How does He create such a myriad of lives, no two alike?

I love Judah so much it takes my breath away. I don’t think I could love him more even if he had come from my own body. His 5 months has changed the course of my life forever. And Josh and I will shape his life in eternal ways. But his story isn’t being written by me. All the million little things that had to happen in order for him to become ours had very little to do with me. God is faithfully writing his story just like He’s writing mine.

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